The 18 Stages Of The Shameful Pickup

AskMen knows how things work. Specially when you pick up the girl you least wanted...

It's finally Saturday night, and you're ready to PARTAAAAAAAAAAY.



You can hardly contain your excitement.



You are sooooooooooo burnt out from your week.



You are ready to blow off some SERIOUS steam.

1. You meet your friends at the bar and you're ready to GO.

2. You're feeling pretty cool, scoping out the ladies

3. You're warming yourself up 'cause you are so ready to get it done

4. You think, "Oh my god, I'm sooooooooooo in." Until you're so not.

5. And suddenly it's 2:30 a.m., and you need to get in the ZONE.



6. And still your options are looking bleak, so you take it up a notch.

7. Until suddenly you realize you're... all alone. Where the f*ck did everyone go?



8. But then you're like, "Whatever, she looks good enough." And, HELL NO, you're not going home alone.

9. ANNNNNNNNNNNNND you're back in the game!

10. You've Got This! You're bringing her home.

11. You. Are. The. Boss.

12. Until your beer goggles start to clear and you're like, WHAAAAAAAAAT?!

13. But then you're like YIPPIEEEEEEEEEE, 'cause who cares, really?



14. And then you wake up at her house the next morning and you're like, "Sh*t. I gotta get out of here."

15. But then you realize you were the last one to leave the bar, so you're totally cool.




16. Until you realize you got the clap.

17. And you're freaking out a little bit.


And feel real sorry for yourself.



18. Until you see a doctor and you realize you'll be OK as long as you take antibiotics.


Just don't tell your friend Barry because he'll think you're an idiot.


And make you promise to never do this again.



Until next Saturday.